i complain about being the ugly duckling out of my friends, the one who all her guy mates think all her girl mates are so fantastic but don't pay any attention to, the one who can never be past the friend zone, the "sister"... yet, when a boy is genuinely interested in me, i'm not keen? maybe it's because i'm not used to having male attention towards me, it's making me skeptical about it all. about how out of all girls, it's me he wants. or, maybe it's because when ever i do get noticed by boys, and pass the friend zone it fucks up everything and i get hurt?

okay, so there's actually a bit of a story behind this. he's from out of town, and over the summer we met at a party. i only live a few streets down from this party, so i was walking home after it. as i said goodbye to everyone he offered to walk me home, being that it was some ridiculous hour and i live in a rough area. he walked me home, and i thought that was that. until, a few weeks later i saw him out clubbing. we ended up exchanging numbers at the end of the night, again i thought that was that... we kept in contact, went out a few times. kept in contact, then nothing. nothing for months. i actually forgot about him, to be quite honest.. then, out of the blue a few weekends ago i saw him. i thought i was just way to drunk or something at first, then i realized it was actually him. he seemed so happy to see me. i was just like, uh aye?! turns out he was in italy studying photography for the past few months. now, he's been back every weekend since. being super cute towards me, admitting he wants to woo me... but, as soon as he starts to show me positive attention, i'm all... i don't know, not keen or something?

i think maybe i'm just to set in collecting cats to die alone with... 

being a crazy cat lady just seems far to appealing for my own good.